pitcherlady

Summer sidewalks on Nolensville Rd.

2008-07-19T11:30:48Z

A couple of patches of sunflowers sprung up this year, on Nolensville Rd. I don't mean to make it sound like it was an act of God or anything. Obviously, someone at each of the two Auto Mart dealerships was thinking ahead. I'd love to think that the idea might spread up and down the entire street and that perhaps it could inadvertently deflect the resentful and unfounded feelings (some) people have about immigration in this city. If anyone hears of such a plan, please let us know. I'll be the first one to show up with a spade and a big floppy hat.

Still Barney

2008-07-18T11:05:51Z

Barney's still kicking it over at his apartment on M'boro Rd. He's getting ready to move, after twelve years or something like that, into Leroy's old apartment next door. He'll have more space to move around in there and is pretty excited about the whole thing. Recently, he managed to come by an electric wheelchair too. "You oughta' report that on my website," he said the other day. "Tell 'em I'm having races over here in the parking lot." Consider it done, Barney.

Locally grown salad

2008-07-16T11:32:55Z

Straight from the Farmer's Market. I wish I could say I made this but sadly, I didn't even get to taste it.

Poor timing

2008-07-15T15:01:27Z

I'm idling patiently, in line at the vehicle inspection station for the second time in a week. There are three lines, serving thirty two of us, mostly well-behaved humans, there for our annual nine dollar environmental checkup. Thirty-two vehicles, all running, ninety-four degrees, each dribbling a river of condensation from their air conditioners onto one big piece of concrete. Big cloud of carbon monoxide hanging in the air above us, all safe and sound. I shame myself for thinking negatively. I am after all, in a pretty good mood. It's no different than driving on the street every day, I think. Idling here, offers no more pollution than idling at the bank or at McDonalds. Or God forbid at the drive through pharmacy. I am mystified by drive through pharmacies. Now you don't even have to pull up alongside the building. They can shoot pills out to you in a tube in the parking lot for God's sake. Soon, I think pharmacies will be a lot like ATM's, but I digress. There's a guy, well two of them actually, out working the parking lot, taking license plate numbers, registrations - money. In the past, you could drive in here, get locked into this grid of cars, and after you'd waited a good little while, your eyes would focus on a sign in the distance, printed with the words : CASH ONLY. It was at that point things had the possibility of getting interesting. Thereis only one way out and occasionally you'd hear someone shouting but not be able to pinpoint the vehicle or direction the direction from which it was coming. Since all of us were trapped in the same grid of cars, there was a lot of what I like to call eye skating. It goes something like: left mirror, rear view, right mirror, left, left mirror, rear view, right mirror, left. Anyway, they've recently brought the whole process into the twenty-first century and today, only the people who fail the test are thoroughly annoyed. The guy in the lot shows up and he's looking over my return slip (I bought a new gas cap a few months ago. It wasn't holding pressure so Auto Zone gave me a new one) and his partner walks up and, proving once again that I'm invisible, he says: Hey man, What is six inches long, stays in a man's pants, and has a head but doesn't get any? Money! Isn't that hilarious? Somebody just texted me that. The guy checking my papers walks him away from my car so quickly, you'd think he had him by the shirt and when he comes back to me he says, you shoulda' heard that. I did hear that, I say. It didn't seem all that funny to me, did you think it was? He doesn't answer, puts the paperwork under my wiper, let's it go with a big flap and trots into another line of cars. It's getting funnier by the minute and then I make the mistake of looking up into the clear blue sky, for solace. There, happily sharing airspace with the aforementioned carbon monoxide cloud is this billboard, embracing as many as six of seven deadly sins. Now, if any of us had a paint-ball gun, we could get this party started.

Little Linda and her son

2008-07-14T06:01:21Z

I met (Little) Linda back when I used to go looking for Steve in the homeless camps. Many years of homelessness and alcohol had made her behavior totally unpredictable but if you caught her on the right day and at the right time, she was funny, smart and very likable (even if you ran up on her cold, in the woods). I learned (or maybe I should say I theorized) back then that if you could sober up all the long time alcoholics and drug abusers you'd find they were the most creative and likable people around. It's hard to see that though when you're a big time developer/politician/real estate agent, who wishes they would all leave town on the next bus. Interestingly, there are (sober) homeless people and others who've managed to get ahead, who look down on them as well. There's no shortage of judges in this world and it's hard to make progress when your own peers refuse to help because of your so-called poor choices. Speaking of poor choices....(link)

Conga player, Humberto

2008-06-29T20:19:39Z

Almost Elvis

2008-06-27T18:25:13Z

Found it on the road going up Short Mountain, in Woodbury, Tennessee. It wasn't exactly alongside the road either, in fact, I didn't realize it at the time, but you can see the road in the picture. I can't believe I didn't scare up a snake. Or rather, I can't believe a snake didn't scare up me. (..fear no grammar). Anybody besides me see a face in the side of the rock? I had to climb up there just to make sure the Nun Bun wasn't up there. It's too bad because you know that would've made world news if she were. (Once, I was asked to get a photo of the Nun Bun for the editor of a magazine in Turkey)

Outlaw

2008-06-27T07:16:21Z

A young man, rang my bell a few days back and told me he was with the Democratic Party. I don't recall his name but just for fun, let's call him Chad. Chad was young, smart, hyper-educated and over groomed. He was filled with energy, and an enthusiastic outlook that could've, if one were in tune with such things, been mistaken for hallucinogenic mushrooms. As expected, he was out in the ninety degree heat, selling slices of Barack Obama pie. Now, I'm not opposed to visits from politicians or their representatives. I just wish that once, they'd send someone who forgot to memorize the speech. The last kid who showed up to sell me magazines had exactly the same schtick, same tone of voice, same superficial interest in me, everything. It was unpleasant in ways that he had nothing to do with. I did buy a magazine from him, but not before I asked him (nicely) to please - shut-up. This time, I have to admit, I didn't buy any pie. Since I was old enough to have ears, Joe Biden was my President. I am dismayed to this day, that right in front of our eyes, there was a man who was overqualified to be President and all we could find to talk about, were his hair plugs. So Chad stood there and did his routine for a full two or three minutes. Excitedly, he sang the praises of a man my age, who believes he needs half a billion dollars to get through the interview phase of his next job. Mr. Obama has my vote, by default. He'll have to forgive me on the money though. I just took out a loan, to pay my dentist. Or was that a credit card? Let's see, yeah. It was a credit card. The salesman just pitched it as a loan. (This shot is straight out of the archives at Cliffhanger, a couple of all-time favorite subjects, Kokomo and Tim.)

James

2008-06-24T22:11:18Z

I was having a conversation with James the other day, when a woman walked into the room and seeing the camera, interrupted us to announce that she didn't want me taking her picture. I told her I wasn't allowed to take her picture and predictably, she then wanted to know why not. 'It's blind man Thursday' I said, pointing at James. 'I can only take pictures of blind men today.' She almost believed it. If he hadn't busted out laughing, she'd still be telling that story.

Losing ground

2008-06-23T19:23:12Z

July first, five bus routes will be eliminated from a system which has been compromised by narrow-mindedness neglected, for years. What with recent gas prices, it seems, this announcement is the polar opposite of what a progressive city might expect. One might argue that more bus routes were needed or that a large population of people are just beginning to consider alternative transportation. They might also feel inclined to think that while it will save 2 point-whatever million dollars in operating costs, the people served by those routes could possibly be the people who need it most; people who don't have a car to leave in the garage in the first place. Details can be found in this article from the Tennessean Also, and I hate to spread the bad news even further but ...no more Bookmobile. In the good news department, after a week of being MIA, Sunny came high-stepping down my driveway at three o'clock this afternoon. I asked her where the devil she'd been but she really just wanted that last apple I had saved in the refrigerator.